Apparently I’m the Adult

You ever have one of those weeks where nothing particularly terrible happens, but by Friday you’re questioning your patience, your sanity, and whether it’s socially acceptable to just stop answering your phone?

Welcome to my week.

Work was nonstop, I had an incredibly proud mom moment, got to catch up with some family I hadn’t seen in a while, and had a few phone conversations that reminded me why sometimes it’s better to just let a call go to voicemail.

And honestly, I don’t think I’m asking for much.

A little peace. A little common sense. Maybe a conversation that doesn’t involve someone I have absolutely no desire to discuss.

Apparently, that’s a tall order.

Apparently My Job Is Just One Long Meeting

This week at work was one of those weeks where my calendar looked like someone had thrown darts at it.

Intern interviews, leadership meetings, regular meetings, and somewhere in between all of that, the actual work I’m supposed to be doing.

I swear, some days I spend more time talking about what needs to get done than actually getting anything done.

And don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I really do.

But have you ever finished a meeting, opened your email, and realized that while you were discussing one problem, approximately twelve new ones appeared?

It’s like playing Whac-A-Mole, except instead of winning a stuffed animal, you get another meeting invitation.

And apparently, being in leadership means you’re expected to have an answer for everything.

Which is hilarious, because sometimes my answer is, I don’t know, but let me figure it out.

Very professional.

Very executive.

Someone put that on my business card.

The Best Part of My Week

Now, before I start complaining about humanity, I have to share something that genuinely made me happy.

Parker was inducted into the National Honor Society on Wednesday!

And yes, I’m going to brag about him because I’m his mother, and that’s basically written into the parenting contract.

I’m so incredibly proud of him.

Watching your child grow up is such a strange experience. I swear I was just dropping him off for kindergarten, and now I’m sitting at an induction ceremony watching him be recognized for his accomplishments.

He’s sixteen, working, going to school, making decisions about his future, and becoming his own person.

Meanwhile, I’m still trying to figure out how I became responsible for another human being in the first place.

And considering he recently changed direction with school and had to figure out what was right for him, seeing him continue to succeed makes me even prouder.

Of course, I told him how proud I was.

I’m sure he responded with something incredibly heartfelt, like, “Thanks, Mom.”

Teenagers really know how to make a moment special.

But seriously, moments like that remind me that even when life feels chaotic, there are some pretty wonderful things happening right in front of us.

Sometimes Family Time Is Actually Really Nice

I also got to spend time with some family I hadn’t seen in quite a while.

And it was genuinely nice.

We caught up, talked about life, and enjoyed being together. Nothing dramatic. No uncomfortable conversations. Just spending time with people I don’t get to see nearly enough.

Sometimes that’s all you need.

And I really enjoyed it.

Unfortunately, the same week also included a couple of completely separate phone conversations that tested my patience.

Because apparently the universe likes balance.

A nice family visit?

Wonderful.

Now here’s a phone call to ruin your mood.

Apparently My Phone Comes With Unsolicited Family Updates

I don’t know why certain people feel the need to bring up relatives and people they know you don’t have a relationship with.

And I mean KNOW.

It’s not a secret. It’s not something we’re all confused about. We’re not waiting for the results of an investigation.

You know I don’t speak to this person.

You know there’s a reason.

And yet, somehow, here we are discussing them again.

Why?

What exactly are we hoping to accomplish?

Am I supposed to suddenly say, “Oh my God! You’re right! I completely forgot about that person! Let me immediately clear my calendar and plan a reuinion!”

Becuase that’s not happening.

And then comes the questions.

Why didn’t you invite them?

Have you talked to so-and-so?

What about this person?

I’m sorry. Am I being audited?

Becuase I wasn’t aware I needed to provide quarterly reports on the status of my family relationships.

And while we’re at it, can we stop assuming that just because two people are related in some way or another, they automatically need to be involved in each other’s lives?

Sometimes people aren’t close.

Sometimes there’s history.

Sometimes someone has treated you so poorly enough that you’ve decided you don’t need that relationship.

And sometimes, you just don’t want to talk about them.

I don’t think that should require a formal explanation every time the phone rings.

And Then There’s the Family Newsletter I Never Subscribed To

You know those phone calls where someone asks how you’re doing, you get approximately twelve seconds to answer, and then the conversation becomes a detailed update on their entire life?

Yeah.

Those.

Now, I don’t mind listening to people. I actually enjoy catching up with someone who genuinely wants to have a conversation.

But there’s a difference between catching up and being an audience.

Especially when the conversation turns into updates about people you have no relationship with and no particular interest in hearing about.

And then, just when you think you’ve survived the family newsletter, someone brings up the one person you really, really, don’t want to discuss.

Wonderful.

Thank you.

This is exactly what I needed today.

I don’t need updates. I don’t need explanations. I don’t need to hear about someone’s new life, their family, or what they’ve been up to.

If I wanted that information, I promise I’d ask.

Spoiler alert: I haven’t asked.

And what bothers me even more is when adults complain that a child doesn’t reach out enough.

I’m sorry, but since when did it become a child’s responsibility to maintain a relationship with an adult?

If you want to be involved in a child’s life, make the effort.

Call. Show interest. Ask questions. Be present.

Don’t put the responsibility on the child and then act disappointed when they don’t do all the work.

Especially when there may be years of hurt or disappointment that nobody seems interested in acknowledging.

The adult should be the adult.

I feel like that should be fairly straightforward.

But apparently, we need a refresher course.

And Then There Are the Relationships You Actually Miss

Here’s where things get a little complicated.

Because while there are certain relationships I’m perfectly content not having, there are others I genuinely miss.

And I think that’s what makes family so difficult sometimes.

There are people you used to be incredibly close with. People you could joke around with, talk to about anything, and never worry about how something would be taken.

And then, somewhere along the way, things change.

The conversations become harder.

The jokes don’t land the same way.

Something you say with absolutely no bad intention somehow turns into an arguement.

And suddenly, you’re walking on eggshells with someone you used to feel completly comfortable around.

That’s a sad feeling.

Because you don’t necessarily want the relationship to end.

You want it to be what it used to be.

But you can’t force that.

And when trying to talk about it only makes the other person defensive, you eventually stop bringing it up.

Not because you don’t care.

Because you’re tired of every attempt at a conversation becoming another problem.

And sometimes you really do miss the person you used to know.

Even though they’re still right there.

So Anyway, How Was Your Week?

Looking back, it really was a good week.

Work was busy, but I got through it.

I watched my son accomplish something wonderful.

I spent time with family I genuinely enjoyed seeing.

And then I had a few conversations that made me wonder whether my phone actually needs to be used for talking.

Maybe I should just stick to texting.

At least then I can stare at a message for a few minutes, question humanity, and decide whether it deserves a response.

I’m not saying every relationship needs to be perfect. I’m certainly not saying people should never talk about family.

But can we please acknowledge that not everyone has the same relationships?

That some people have history,

That some people aren’t close.

And that sometimes the person you’re talking to has absolutely no interest in hearing about someone who hasn’t been part of their life?

I don’t need a family relationship audit.

I don’t need a newsletter about people I’ve deliverately stopped keeping up with.

And I definitely don’t need anyone telling a child to be the bigger person when the actual adults haven’t figured out how to do that themselves.

I just want to enjoy my week, celebrate the good things, and occassionally have a phone conversation that doesn’t leave me questioning why I answered.

Because apparently I’m the adult.

But that doesn’t mean I have to participate in every conversation someone else decides we’re having.

And if you’re calling to give me updates about people I don’t speak to, please leave a message after the beep.

Actually, don’t. My voicemail is full. 😂